Note To Self:
“Everyone I interact with today is doing the best that they can - including me”.
This helps me remember to cut people some slack, to stop judging, and to interact with others like they are just like me – imperfectly doing the best they can.
It's not easy
I know - it’s not so easy. Judgement comes with the territory right? We all carry the wounds of times when we were wrong, when we didn’t know the answer, when we forgot something or remembered it wrongly ….. and were called out for it, laughed at, judged, found wanting.
As a former High School teacher I’m embarrassed to say, for most of us it started young …. In school. From spelling tests to math times tables to having your art judged as not pretty enough – we’ve all been on the receiving end of judgement at some level or another.
And the result – we learn to put on our armor and protect ourselves.
"We are all trying to protect ourselves from feeling not good enough"
Unfortunately, we often try to protect ourselves by pointing out flaws in others. Because noticing that others are making mistakes and not getting it right (according to me), means that I must be better than them – or at least I must be right and they must be wrong. Some of us do this unconsciously, without really realizing it - and others are experts.
I can see why the New Zealand Education system tried so hard to hit the common denominator – to remove winning and losing, and to celebrate everyone’s achievements as a success. But I think it has tried and failed - oops - no judgement here right! Let’s try that again – I think the idea was a good one and it just didn’t line up with the world outside of school ……. A world designed under a different system that essentially demands judgement to be able to function.
The Cream Always Rises To The Top:
At the risk of showing my age here – “The cream always rises to the top” is an expression we used to use back in the good old days of whole, full cream milk delivered to your gate in glass bottles. The cream (the best part for most people) will rise to the top and stand out from the rest. I personally hate cream (although I have no particular objection to rising to the top whenever possible) and I would always wonder why the milk – which was the largest part of the bottle – was so unvalued. Why were we judging the milk to be of lesser value than the cream?
Which Begs the question ....
Is it possible to rise to our fullest potential - and indeed enable others to do the same - without judgement and creating winners and losers, better and lesser thans?
I believe the answer is a resounding YES. I know this because the achievement of true self actualization – ie to become all that you are meant to be - does not hold any judgement. Because Judgement is a low vibrational emotion, it sits alongside guilt, blame, frustration and shame (to name a few), and all low vibrational emotions hinder your ability to rise to the top and reach the highest vibrations of love, joy, compassion and happiness.
reaching my own fullest potential has nothing to do with anyone else
If I am to be the best that I can be …… it may make me “the best” in the world, or something not even close to that – and does it matter? If I am being my own true, “best self” then I would hope that I would love and encourage everyone else to do the same.
Notice – it is a completely different meaning of the word “best” – meaning personal best, personal accomplishment, and has nothing to do with where you came on a list, how high you scored in a test, how many others you beat for the job.
To be your “best” self has nothing to do with the achievement of others and certainly has nothing to do with comparing yourself and judging yourself to be better or less than anyone else.
"Judgement is a low vibration emotion stopping you from achieving the higher vibrations of love, joy and happiness."
Refuse to judge
To stop judging others – it starts – yes you know it – with refusing to judge yourself as anything other than your best imperfect self in this given moment.
When you begin each day focusing on, and thinking about being your own best self – you will find yourself energized to move forward into the day free of judgement, free of guilt and regret and all those low energy emotions that come with judging yourself as less than.
Leaving you free to dive into your day filled with the higher vibrations of hope and love, and the desire to give and learn to truly be all you can be.
And you really can’t judge yourself for that 😊.
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