We have developed an inability to Let Go - and it is not healthy.
We are all hanging on to too much. Whether it’s too much responsibility for ourselves and others that we carry around like a backpack full of rocks (many of you have left those backpacks in my office!) 😊 Or the hurts in our heart that we are holding onto from painful relationship breakups, or the loss of something or someone dear to us. We are all holding on to things that don’t serve us, and our inability to let go is hurting us.
Helping people to Let Go of blocked emotions, stress, anxiety, difficult relationships, painful experiences, is such a massive part of my everyday work that I wanted to share some steps you can take to Let Go in a way that feeds your heart and soul rather than shrinking it.
Don’t Let the Hurt Close Your Heart
These three essential steps to letting go of a relationship - or anything that you need to say goodbye too - will stop the hurt from closing your heart and instead, encourage your heart to grow from the experience.
I focus on relationships here – because relationships end and often challenge us to let go whether we want to or not. They are here for a reason, a season, or a life, and yet when a relationship ends, it can be messy and painful and make you want to lock up your heart and never open up again. Unfortunately, not healing from the loss of important relationships in our lives can have a detrimental effect on our future relationships.
STEP ONE: Accept How It Is
Stop second guessing and wishing it was different. Instead, accept the reality of how it is. Acceptance will enable you to let go of how you wish it was and bring you peace and perhaps even understanding. Journaling the “shoulda, woulda, coulda”, vs “how things actually are” will help you here – also using the headings: The Dream vs The Reality. The objective is to accept the reality of how it is – enabling you to let go of the dream of how you wish it was.
STEP TWO: Harvest The Good
When you are ready - spend some time focusing on all the good things the relationship brought to your life - the things you learnt, experienced, discovered. This is NOT a “let’s gloss over everything” approach. It requires a deep clean of the hurt as you cannot focus on the good until you have let go of the rest. Havening and the Emotion Code processes will help you with this. The ultimate goal is to let your heart hold on to the good so you can see the positive and focus on finding more of that in your life.
STEP THREE: Forgive The Rest
This is the most important step - and it is also the most profound. Forgiving everyone and everything releases the “shoulda, woulda, coulda” and “dream” states, allowing you to let go of the hurt and the pain. I have developed a wonderfully effective Forgiveness Process to assist you with this, so you might like to make an appointment specifically to focus on Letting go and Forgiveness. If so – when you book an appointment, please put Forgiveness Process in the goals section.
Let Your Heart Grow
These steps take work and determination, but I can assure you that it is well worth your efforts. Because letting go in this way leaves your heart free of pain, and full of all the positive aspects of your relationship. Transforming pain into forgiveness, and allowing you to move forwards with empathy, understanding and compassion for others and most importantly - for yourself.
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